As you know, i am freaking out lately.( for many small and big reasons)
I was cleaning up my room, packing out papers.
I turned out full blast for my mayday songs.
Jump here and there.
Suddenly, ren shen hai hai popped in.
I decided to throw away all my sorrows.
(jiu suan shi zhe ge shi jie ba wo pao qi, er zhi shao kuai ler shang xing wo zhi ji jue ding)
I took out all my sec 1 timetable and more.
I began to tear them.tear.tear.tear.
Then i throw around.
I feel happy. real happy.
But have to clean up. =.=
Its ok, hear up.
I am going to take back what i lost.
HEAR CLEARLY.
I AM GOING TO TAKE BACK WHAT I LOST.
lalala...

------------------------------------------------

These few days kept going out with shufeng.
NVM.
tomorrow going library and as you know.
cant stand it sia.
kingkong was ok lahx.
After the big feast, we sat down and count.
Not really, i do think the adults are crazy.
How i wish i can really drink alcohol and make myself numb.
Make myself unconscious so that i won't know how sad this world is.
To me, its a meaningless christmas but at least i did a kind thing.
What goes around comes around.
Suddenly, i heard a line.
(duo xiang yao xiang guo qu gao bie, gao bie zhe ji mo de ji jie, hai shi ji mo de ji jie )
adapted from DAVID TAO, ji mo de ji jie.
Its really a cold christmas or rather a lonely one.
Sometimes, i feel christmas is just another celebration to get more presents or rather be happy and get more things to reward yourself from this year.
Well, i think my best birthday gift is knowing mayday.
Its a miracle gift to me.
Thank you.
I also wish everyone i knew this particular year.
I hereby wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

best regards to everyone and all mayday fans.

=.)

933 too !!!
for the accompany every night.
omg.
just now they bao liao tt jiahui and junli..
li teng and ling zhi
chong qing and mali
peifen and her bf...
liteng and peifen???

haha...
rock on everyone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ! ! !
ashin too.

=.)

er.. monster and jay too.

guan you and stone and masa.

and mayday!!!

hopefully, its world peace and no illness.
no tears, no pain.
everyone would be living happily.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

presents would be lining up.
---> JUST BE HAPPIE ***

let it snow . snow. snow.

JUST LET IT SNOW...............................=.))

----------------------------------------------------------------

christmas trip,

i went out with my cousin yesterday and yesterday.

We went out and walked to takashimaya to meet her mum. It is then we realised that her mother had walked back to the MRT station. Therefore, we have to walk back. We decided on what to eat and it was like, walking here to there, there to here and finally we decided to go for delifrance. It was packed with a group of people. Beside us was a group of students who exchanged presents. I love the atmosphere. They gave each a present, i guess they were rich enough. We ordered each a meal and i ordered mountain dew for drink. It was awesome. I meant the meal. The chicken is being... and then got roast smell after that a cream of mushroom something was added to it. Can you imagine when the two are mixed together and the chicken totally absorbed the mushroom. It is ate with spaghetti blah.( its anothr kind) Its so heaven. My cousin ordered a salmon something. I think mine is better lor. She said its normal. But then i think it taste heavenly. Not the price though its also very nice. Its about $55 something. So shiok... Then we decided to head for the big sale, actually not much to buy but i bought 2 pencil, one for my sis and one for my bro as their xmas gift. I bought myself one previous at plaza singapura. Then we walked to heeren, it rocks. Though my cousin really hate going there and we havent even shop until i shuang then she said she wana go ler. Honeslty, i was irritated. I thought it was a stupid idea. The clothes and things were so cool. When i 18, i surely go there and buy de lor. Then we have to head out and we walked over to cineleisure. At there, we went to buy a mickey mouse. SO CUTE. i bought it for myself as a xmas gift hehe. I bought my mother a box of biscuit with a very cute design. the biscuit tastes good too. =.)).It is then we walked over to far east. It is then i realised my leg very pain sia. she bought herself a $1 earings lors. then i wana walk, so fun then she kept on saying she wants to go to take neoprint. Ok then we went to took lors. Though i wana say i look sucky. Overall, she spent a toal of $5 while i spend $16. XMAS is about giving money away and exchanging for something haha. Its around 6 then she say she wana go home ler. I was like huh?? early lehx. then she said she wants to go lors. It was then i realised ok. nvm. Yeah i going out with inez tmr to orchard lors so at least she wun dun wan cum here or there. at nite i oso got a xmas party ... cool.!!!!!!!!haf to stop lerx bye

I LOVE ICE CREAM.

I love ASHIN.(p.s decide to give up monster)

ashin is so darn sweet and

MERRY XMAS TO ALL.

Honestly, yesterday pottery was bored sia. The teacher asked me if i hated pottery. I feel like yelling to her that it sucked so much. Imagine every week, you do the stupid same things over and over again and it isn't fun at all. I prefer carving. humphx, dun care.

My brother and sister had a crazy fight again and i dun care anymore. Let them to death...
They always kee siao.

My homework, i left 2 gan xiang and 2 chinese storybook.
Those test to be studied.Heck care and enjoy xmas!!!
The gan xian is stupid.
HECk lahx, i haben got HIV i duno what to write lehx
CRazy horse i cant even see how i noe what to write.
God forgive me!!!


Nowadays dun see everyone going online. Bie homework bax...
dun care...
i very bored sia. i wish there is no sku forever as school sucks like hell man.

Bye and kill myself.
I like sentimental kills.
Sometimes, my world seems to be spinning and spinning and spinning non-stop. I cannot balance myself and i can feel myself holding tight to the earth. I may fall anytime if i loose my hand. I got my limit, i can't feel anything but in my heart its different. Mixed emotions dancing around me. It doesn' t matter anymore. I believe in myself and i know i can. But for now, i don't feel like, i know myself very well. I have to push but i can't. I kept telling myself i can, you can, But it seems impossible. I love procrastinating and i know clearly in my mind it is wrong. Nobody like procrastinating, including myself. I am really tired. I hope i can faint and send to the hospital and then i recover and get back to the old shuting. I am sick of everything in my life.

I feel scared tomorrow. Am i running away from reality, i know very well myself, i am. I didn't want to get back to the past and remember that frightful months. I stopped typing. My body is protesting and there is nothing i can do. I am afraid tomorrow would turns out to be scary. I don't like it. I hate it. I feel stressful and i am not sure what i should do. I sleep early now as i feel my eyelids dropping down anytime. A few time.

I know i can, i have to face it.

FACE IT.
bravely.
bravely.
i have to.
我是缺掉某事吗? 我的家庭作业腐朽。每天似乎是一乏味.
经常许多人使用文字表现出他们的情感.我感觉总是哀伤的。
是我想太多吗?
我感覺疲乏, 真正地tired.我想像離開.
我希望去一个遙遠的地方.
消失
從這個世界。
我想要飞行到其它世界.
我想要居住平安的生活.
没有噪声没有声音没有谈话但只我自己.
我想要离开这个地方.

=.)

I wonder if i shld continue liking my monster or what.
As what liying had said, monster is kind of changed lots of gf, though i still like him.
Ashin is so much better. His cute and loving and sweet. Oooo...
I feel so confusing lehx. Ok, lets not bother abt liking who.
I just feel i am dying and my homework are decaying too. I left plently of them and it seems that i cant get to finish them. I feel liking commiting suicide. Kill myself and one kife two part. I miss my mayday a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot. I felt the Singapore concert was cool budden other country is cooler where they have so many nicer things. Singapore can make a better concert next time... Maybe one day i would marry monster. One day... =.= i hope so though fats hope.
Monster is so nice and he actually scored 100 for maths. So cleeever!
Everything seems so nice and i feel my life is sucking out. I feel nosiy today and i feel like shutting myself inthis room and not come out for 10 days. When is my Knight coming to save me, ahh...!!! One day he would and save me away from Monster!!! Happily ever after.
For once more so sweet!!! I dun like shi guang ji MTV, monster hugged tt girl too tight. In superman, ashin and the girl act too close. I think that girl zhuan dao. I received 3 testimonial from rachel, shimu and vivian. Happy budden i have to return and kind of SIENX.
and i duno why everytime i hear hen xing de hen xin sang by mayday i feel like
CRYING. super damn stupid. i guess so but sure i do look stupid.
I feel like going to KBOX and sang till i am crazy and i can just throw the mike away and shop til i am happy enough.

I am DREAMING.

I really feel stressed up.
Please save me from my monster.!!!!

please please.

As you know, SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.
My very christmas wish would be able to hug and kiss monster.
Is it very over?
haha, lolx nvm.
SANTA PLEASE GRANT MY WISH.

=.)

ok, actually my wish is that everyone is happy and no suffering in this world.
Dry up all the tears.
Wash away all the frown.

santa rocks.
p.s ( just now the kiss and hug monster wish hor. oso can grant for me =.)) )

today i went out with inez and her friend, valerie.
Nvm if it is spelled wrongly.SORRY.
We sang, shopped and i bought myself this cute little pencil which i adores.
I would use it to draw beautiful drawings!!!
We shopped at the plaza singapura and sang at KBOX.
thanks for the accompany.
thx for the present too frm inez.


I haven't tot of any presents.
I feel stuck at but nvm.
EARTHQUAKE bax. hehex. then everone can share and enjoy.
includin myself. =.))

-+ a merry xmas to all out there no matter what religion +-
it is meant to be shared. joyous and more...

thanks peifen for reading out my 2 sms.
the first one i slept lerx then heard it from weiying tt it was read out.!!!
the second one i bet with li qiu and she lost cause mine being read.
cheers
i miss everyone ok...
most is sinren haha.


HOHOHO
MERRY XMAS
=.)

wish cuum tru` for everyone !!!
peace is important and have a good heart!!!

It seems like a breeze.
It past me like a dream.
It past me like a ghost.

ONE year had just pass.

my achievement?

ZERO.

I feel sad this year and i feel sad today.
I wish for a better 2006.

I realised a lot this single year which changed my entire thinking and my life.
Let's make a review over this particular sad year.

I was crushed. Entered to this miserable school. Hated by some people. Relationship stumbled upon. Friendship was destroyed. True feelings shown. Teachers are cruel creatures. I am not a pet. I am unlike others. I was seen by mrs sim then miss vijay then mrs choo. Complained by every single then hated me.Fake smiles.Hypocrite everywhere.Trust lost.Thrown back to the back. Play til tears dropped.You dun care. I cried til i dun feel bitterness in my tears.No way of turning back. I wanted but... . Regretted in end but too late.

This is a short review. You wun understand. Neither would you want to understand.Sometimes, i feel this world is too pathetic. We all learn to shed tears, but when did we ever think of being happy. In this miserable year -2005, I finally realised my yps motto is so useful. Do our BEST and be the BEST. I will remember this forever and i never remembered my cchy vision or whatever. I feel i am useless. I did not achiever anything that is making me feel proud over it. I only know remorsful and i feel i am using tears to wash my face everyday. I feel i am tired, i am sick. I am really tired. We learn to be too sad, too too sad. We don find happiness as we never though of it. Til now, i feel i am really very sad of my everything.

In my years of cchy, i really feel like demolishing this school. I feel sad of this school. I feel irritated and feel hatred only in this school. To me, it seems going to hell from monday to friday. I feel my emotions and my spirit being tortured. Half of my body is in the coffin. Thanks to my school. I really feel i made a big and wrong mistake. MISTAKE. a grave one. I did not expected my result. Did i ask for too much? No, i wasn't. It was all my fault. Mine. I was too much. It was too much for me. I feel i may collaspe anytime and moment. I hear my heart tearing apart. I hear my heartbeat jumping so fast so clear. In my world, i cant find love in my dictionary. I suffered and i decided this is mine problem. I should just throw every memory of cchy that caused me into the last century. Close my eyes. Open my arms. Welcome 2006. Go to damn hell !!!

I played too much. It changed everything. Sec 1 isnt just sec 1. It is a change of my thinking. I should study more instead of play more. Slack until u know. Play until u die. What if i collaspe halfway? Everyone feels liddat too???

there is only one song to describe me now.
FENG KUANG SHI JIE.

i regretted my 13.
13 totally ripped off.
2 more weeks and i can cancel 13 from my stupid life.

SUCKER 13 get lost !!!
13 sucks....!!!!

GET LOST and dun ever come back again.

NOW
i would sleep and forget everything.

( the above are just my thinking and it doesnt harms or spoils the school reputation.
They are just part of my way of shouting my voices out and way of expressing myself.)

<--monster



<--ME.ugly sia.
<---entrance!!!




10 of december finally arrived. I cant get to sleep the day before. I am so nervous that this is my first concert, first seeing of idol and even more. I dressed up nicely and of course wearing RED.
U cant imagine the feelings of meeting MAYDAY. I feel i am really crazy. First, i drank chicken essence before going. Blah... then iw ent to khatib MRT to meet liying, and i don't think she is as crazy as me. She kept on wearing the jacket. =.=... At least i show my love for mayday.

We changed lots of change and finally reached expo. We reached there early at about 6.00. We looked for Max PAvillion and and whooo fans always reach early. We walked round the expo and looking for good food but in the end we just brought ourselves doughnut which was horrible to me. Then finally we decided to go back and kept crapping about how we would meet mayday. When we reached there we were among the first few to get in. It was awesome. We bought gloss sticks.(red in colour) Our seat were okok. As you know...blah...
Reach 8pm and i don't see a lot of people then at about 8.30 onwards people came in. This is atrocious, singaporeans don't seems to be understanding what is punctuality. It started at 8.45.

YEEEE.!!! CAME SCREAM when the lighting went out which symboling the start of a concert. GUAN YOU wearing a superman costume warn us not to cameras blah.. ( i guess nobody would want to miss a photo shot?) Then after a nice MTV [hua] with shuai ger- MAYDAY starring for the BENQ hp and my monster. hehex. It was cool and suddenly went the music [ sun wu kong ]. A cloud rose down and onto the ground there was a guy playing the guitar and yeah cheers. Everyone stood up except for a group of people beside me which is i guess people that took free tickets and watch cause nothing better to do or not to waste.( singaporeans spirit ah!!!) Ashin still joked and said : ' wo men chang dao tian liang hao mah?'( we sing till daylight?) and the fans shout YES but he said ' wo shi shi kan'( i try my best). Then still got sing [ call me number 1 ] and [ ai qing wan sui ]. Ashin said that let this be the warm-up. Liying and me ran to get closer and everyone did tt too but we were shoo away so too bad. I was short i guess i must grow taller in order to get a glimpse of them. I went back to the seat and sang with MAYDAY. SO SO SO many nice songs and i feel like i am so damn high, i guess you would never be able to see me so high ever. I was jumping and waving like i am a crazy woman. The woman beside me was a malaysian and beside her from another country. MAYDAY FANS is so international !!! They exhanged numbers or what if not wrong. I was so high that until the end i feel giddy and i like feel like vomitting blood but i didnt. We danced [xiao hu shi] and ashin said we danced better than guan you. haha. guess so. but guan you is relli da fang to let other members suan him and he smiled sheepily and i guess tts because he got a sweetheart!! Ashin was telling lots of things and so sad, i can see his tears in his eyes but gratitude to us that the concert was so successful with a full house of 7500 FANS wearing red LIKE A RED SEA. Another group( duno what) also sang [wo ai xia tian]. I loved the video where MONSTER and STONE STRIP OFF. argg did i say strip? NONO, its only see upper body but good figure!!!=.) i love GUAI SHOU and his performance with guitar was so awesome, some fans even shout ' GUAI SHOU' got the tune, next time let u hear haha, suddenly the songs [ ya guan] popped out. I feel i am going crazy. Solo of ashin very nice with him singing [zhi zu]. Guan you and Stone did a great job of their instruments. Stone was challening Guan you with his guitar and Guan You did a hilarious job of imitating the tune played by Stone, everyone was cheering, GUAN YOU JIAYOUX!!!
I like the part where everyone was singing together like, [ zhi ming yu chun jiao], [ wen rou], [jue jiang] and more... we sang for about 3 hour and something lors. such a worth concert, for those who missed too bad. haha jkjk. buy the VCD and support mayday.
We sang happy birthday to STONE as you noe after 12 is his birthday. The fans kept shouting' xiao shi tou'( small stone). Everyone is waiting anxiouly for the arrival of a small stone, i guess stone would have to work harder. After the birthday wish, the other members use water and splash at him. So funny and guan you cousin look so much like him( biao di) and then stone go and kiss him, i guess they were very high haha. ( gou gou dun get jealous. jk).
when going to finish, fans shouted ' ENCORE' 'ENCORE' and then stamped their feet everyone did that and got encore lors. Everyone was standing up and so high even those who like got free tickets de oso stood up in the end. Mayday sang [ kam chie] , [ wen rou] and [ jue jiang ]. Ashin said that he will cry whenever he sing [ jue jiang]. The fans shout ' bu yao ku' ( dun cry).
When ending lerx, me and liying ran forward to take photo of them and stil very FAR. grrr but nvm. MONSTER very SHUAI.!!! kekex. They held hands together and thanks us. =.)


We went back and you noe MRT closed lerx lehx. we HIGH until MIDNIGHT and everyone has to take taxi even toilets have to queue and then buy can drinks also lehx. In the end, ask my parents go fetch us back lors. We sit at expo and wait and sing haha like siaox.


I miss mayday and it was ****** six star rated concert.

=.) for those who went surely would put their thumb up.
suckin.out.is.what.i.feel.
i cant see you, i cant touch you, i cant do anything for you.
But the hell is i am falling for you.
i hate myself for doing this and i don't know why.
i wanted to stop but i just cant.
why must i do this.
i am so hell.living.shit.
icanthelp.butfall.

i cant help cant help but fell for you.
why are we so near yet so far,
why must i do this to torture.
Is this love yet or is it just lust.
what should i do.
Give up or wait for you.
I knew this is a dream.
I must wake up.
How i hope i can never wake up.
I wished to be a sleeping beauty and never wake up.
how i hope all this would never be happening
and i wun be suffering so much.
i pray and pray and knew all this would not be happening.
Can i use a time machine to make myself not fall with you.
I feel very painful now.
i needed you.
yahs.
GUESS SO.
I GOT MAYDAY TICKETS.
SO WONDERFUL RIGHT.!!!
[MAGICAL]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MONSTER.
MY AIAI.
yeahs...
* 100 kisses *
happy forveer yeahs.
although late lerx haha.

=.))
CHEERS
I GOT IT WITH LIYING.
I WON'TGO INTO THE DETAIL.
I PRESENTED HER THE TICKETS HAHA.
i guess she is relli crazy over ah shin.
ok, ah shin relli v shuai sia.
like those fairy tale prince
today went out with liying, sinren and rachel.
blahs.
dun go into the details haha
hmmm...

Fun.
=.)
MAYDAY ROCKS>!!!!!!!
haf to practise my vocals so i can shout at there.