SHUTING.190392
24/04/09: DEAD AND GONE!
Posted on: 2009-04-23
Posted at: 22:32
DAMN DAMN DAMN!Posted at: 22:32
ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO SCREAM! I JUST WANT TO SPEND ALL MY MONEY AND MAKE MYSELF HAPPY AGAIN!SINNER. YES I AM.I DISLIKE SCHOOL, SO WHAT? YES I'M STILL A ROCK STAR!I JUST CAN'T BUTTRY TO HATE EVERYONE!YES YES YES I'M A WEIRDO.I'M STUPID. AND I'M UNSOCIABLE. DEEMED LOSER. UNFIT. OHH WHATEVER.I'M NOT MYSELF ANYMORE. A SOUL IN A DEAD BODY.I CANT SEE MY REAL SELF ANYMORE, AND I'M TRUTHFUL ABOUT IT.I DON'T KNOW WHY U GUYS ARE DOING THIS TO ME.YEAH I'M NUTS, ITS MYSELF, ME, MYSELF, ME I AM MY OWN PROBLEM.I NEED TO STRESS, I'M JUST ANOTHER DUMB PERSON, I CANT DO MATHS,I CANT DO CHEMISTRY, I CANT DO CHINESE LITERATURE, I CANT TO ECONOMICS.OH YEAHS AND I FAILED EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. THAT'S WHY. PRECISELY. I CANT TALK, NO, COMMUNICATE WELL WITH EVERYONE. I FEEL SO NOT MYSELF. IM LOST. FCUKING LOST. MY HEART IS NOT HAPPY. I FEEL SO OUTCAST, OUT OF PLACE, DESPISED UPON. YEAH IM DUMB IM DUMB. WHATEVER YOU CAN SEE. YOU CAN DO YOUR OWN 100TH TUTORIAL IF YOU WANT. I DO IT AT MY OWN PACE. I PLAY IT AT MY OWN. I LOVE MY OWN PACE. I DONT SEE A WRONG IN IT. YES. IM HAVING A HEADACHE. MY MENSTRUAL CRAMP IS KILLING ME. MY PI IS KILLING ME. I CAN FEEL A FCUK. YOU DONT SEE THE REAL ME. GOD IM REAL SAD. :( OHH, IS IT TRUE THAT I WILL SPEND HOW IT WILL BE LIKE FOR THE REST OF MY 2 YEARS! DEAR GOD, IM A WRETCHED, SAVE ME! TEL ME WHY. I DREAD GOING TO SCHOOL. I DONT DENY I REALLY HATE IT A LOT. AND WORST WORST IS WHEN ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE MOVING FORWARD. THEY GET ALONG WELL WITH THEIR PEERS. THEIR FRIENDS LOVE THEM. THEIR LIFES ARE FORWARDING. I AM BACKSLIDING. TRUE. MY HEART IS LEFT BEHIND. I'M TRYING TO FIND MY WAY BACK HOME. IM SO LOST AND MY HEART IS SEEKING FOR THE TRUTH. THE REAL HEART. I'VE BEEN ROAMING AROUND TOO LONG, TRYING TO FIND MY WAY BACK HOME. I'VE LOST MY HEART. A PASSION HEART FOR LIFE. IT'S WORST THAN EVER. I FEEL IM BEING LEFT BEHIND BY THE WORLD. I DONT DENY. I DONT WANT TO DISAPPOINT MY FAMILY. BUT SEROUSLY AM I RIGHT. IM LIVING A LIFE OF HELL. EVERYDAY I JUST WISH TO GO OUT, RELAXED ALL MY WAY UNTIL I AM SATISFIED. I FEEL SO DISHEARTED EVERY SINGLE SINGLE DAY. A TORTURE. I KNOW AS I TYPE MY EYELIDS ARE DROPPING. I CANT HELP BUT RANTS ALL WHAT I FEEL IN MY HEART. I'VE BEEN HIDING TOO MANY TRUTH AND FEELINGS. I AC, YES AS IF IM HELL ALRIGH TIN SCHOOL AND I'M OK WITH YOU GUYS NOT TALKING. AND ME NOT TALKING AND ME LEFT BEHIND EVERY SINGLE THING. EVERYDAY WORRYING NOBODY SITS WITH ME, NOBODY WANTS TO TALK TO ME. NOBODY WANTS TO BE FRIEND WITH ME. EVERYDAY EVERYDAY EVERYDAY IM SCARED AND LONELY AND I FEEL MORONIC STUPID COMING TO THIS PLACE. YES ITS EVEN WORST WHEN YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT BEHIND. EVERYDAY I GO PLACES, I WORRY I HAD NOBODY TO BE WITH. EVEN THE ONE I MAKE FRIENDS WITH LEFT ME. HOW IT FEELS? I DONT KNOW. NUMB NUMB NUMB. YES WHAT NUMB. IM NOT THAT ME ANYMORE. PRICKS ME AND NO BLOOD COMES OUT. YES BLOOD. IM HEARTLESS. I CANNOT QUIT NOW AND I HAVE A RACE TO GO ON TOMORROW AND FOR THE REST OF MY YEARS. I CANT WAIT TO LEAVE AND MY HEART IS KILLING ME. EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I KNOW IM GOING A DUMB IDIOTIC PLACE, I FEEL SUCKED UP. I WORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING. WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL LIKE IN SECONDARY SCHOOL? WHY MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE THIS? WHY AM I LIKE THIS? OUT OF A SUDDEN, I FEEL MY PERSONALITY SUCKS AND ITS LIKE SHYT. YES SHYT. SHYT IS IT. IT IS SHYT. IM HELLLLL IN THIS PLACE. IT FEELS TERRIBLE TO ACCUSE YOUSELF AS A YES SHYT PERSON, BUT I CANT HELP BUT SAY THAT I SUCKED TERRIBLY. YES. SO IM SO GOING TO SLEEP. WAKE UP NEXT DAY. AND SAY SHYT AND SHYT AND SHYT AND WORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE SINGLE CRAPPY THING AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. EVERYDAY I PRAY SO HARD THAT IT WILL BE A GOOD DAY FOR ME. I TELL GOD, MAKE THE DAY A GOOD ONE. SOMETIMES HE ANSWERS MY PRAYER. SOMETIMES NOT. GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME OUT? CARVE A PATH FOR ME WHEN THERE IS NO ROAD AHEAD? OH SAVE ME.
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You have my thanks