SHUTING.190392
LALA POST! :) hate it when it's long!
Posted on: 2009-06-09
Posted at: 23:42
Posted at: 23:42
OH I feel so ashamed saying this but but but due to my laziness,
I've skipped like lots of lessons! Economics and Maths to be specific!
AHHH! I feel like screaming! Everything seemed to be out against me!
God taught us to be obedience, yet what if everyone turn against you?
It's like every time I try to put my best front forward to people,
yet they doesn't appreciate what you've actually done for them.
I know I'm still learning! Just like a baby taking its steps...
No matter how hard I try, I'm in my dilemma.
It seemed forever that I'm trying to become more and more like Jesus,
however at the very same time, I find myself not 'original' anymore.
I lost my old personality, old self, the old me.
I wonder if anyone ever feels so that I'm changing...
I just missed all my old friends, and how we used to be.
I missed their laughter, and all the lame jokes we crack together.
It seemed further and further away as each day passed.
It's not that our memories are fading away, but it's like every single day...
each and every one of us are constantly changing.
Memories doesn't change, but human being does.
God doesn't too. He's there always and forever.
I'm not EMOTIONAL! OH WELL, just a few days ago.
I was so naive. I tried to get myself drunk at the same place where
sad memories took place. YES! I got like kind of cranky and drunk.
At first, I thought :" SEE I'M SO STRONG! NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME! "
However, right after what I've thought, thinking I was all cool and calm.
I was overwhelmed by darkness... For a moment, my whole head spin like mad.
Then I could not stand firmly, I needed to sit down.
Next thing, I vomit. Next next thing, I was sitting in the middle of the road.
SINNER, yes I am ONE! :( underage drinking is not cool!
NO, it's not cool drinking at all! :(((
Seriously, I feel so sinned that I didn't pray to God, tell him my problems,
instead I turn to alcohol, thinking it would help. Apparently, it DON'T!
So yesterday, I went to met up with SINREN.
Then we talked DIRTY. HAHAHA. I loved it and it was so funny.
I'm like digging a lot about her and her whatever XXX.
They've did so many stuff! OPPS! HAHAHA! Oh don't expect that much! :)
I think they're one normal and cute couple.
Then we were saying like we'll start praying for me to find my RIGHT one! ASAP i HOPE! :)
Today, floorball resumed our normal trainings. Not I guess it's just another start of my nightmare! :( It's not I dislike floorball, I just find everyone being so indifferent!
In the past, nothing like this ever occured. Pure and Innocent. Yet now, so malicious.
At KFC, something happened, and next minute, half of my body was covered with rootbeer.
Maybe because I'm already pretty sticky, don't really mind over it. Maybe if I were in my CCHY uniform, I'll surely be freaking out! OHHH! I think I like the font, that's why I keep typing and typing! My first week passed passed passed! Oh my, I swear I didn't even get to enjoy anything up till now! Oh yes, I'm super crazy and worried that I can't find my true love! :(
Everywhere I go, I see couples, and it's an eye sore! :C
I'm pretty sure everyone is so damn fast and furious... oh my I'll be left on the shelves!
I don't want! :C Oh I need to stand firm with Jesus first, before he can give me my RIGHT ONE! I think I should be thinking this way. Maybe If I Wait hard enough, learn to grow in Jesus, wait patiently, then he'll give me a faithful a right one, my meant to be soulmate. Can you imagine the countless of precious memories we'll have, if we were meant to be. How much we can click well, how much we can actually spent time together doing similar stuff and feeling happy, how much we can get together and worship the lord, sing praises together, spent time together counting stars, spend time talking about how Jesus brought us together, how Jesus want our lives to be connected with him, how we are so same and alike, how much we love Jesus, tell each other about the secrets we have, tell each other how we met Jesus, get together in a cold night, spend a lazy afternoon together, tell each other the problems we faced in life, read our Bibles together, spend time together listening to God's word for us, go to a faraway place where nobody knows us, gatecrash some random weddings, laugh at each other faults, forgiving each other sins and know how much we actually love each other and cannot live without each other, ... the list goes on and on!
There are infinite things I must do with my husband/first boyfriend. I know I might sound somehow like old fashioned, outdated, but I believe the Lord for the right one and only one so I won't get hurt and it's a LOVE STORY! I'll be the ONE to witness that true love does exist, and it won't be like other teenagers when their love are just mere infatuation or for the sake of having someone to love or to be loved. Although I know it's difficult and hard during this century but FAITH keeps me going on. Yes, it's true and I believe it. I'm living for it! I wonder if God will ever read my blog! I just stumbled upon angel's blog, and she say God doesn't reply smses, but I believe God will know my problems. That sermon was just so spot on! Thank Lord about what Pastor Eugene has preached about during the last sermon. It was like my daily bread! Two word from the bible and from that verse striked me alot! TAKE HEART! So I wrote it in my palms before going to floorball. I know I needed it to help me tide through! Oh tomorrow is going to be tied up! I don't mind spending my time talking with the Lord, it's so precious to me! I feel guilty that I have not been spending enough time with him. Fret not, this friday is my TEEN IDOL CAMP! I'm so looking forward to it! It's like I can finally get some time off the busy schedule to do something meaningful and fruitful! Oh yes, last week pastor Lily was telling us to pray in tongues! But I just couldn't cause I have not received it! I'm not sure when I will receive it but I know I'm not ready for it. I want to fully receive it when I have the real heart and the heart God desires then to put his powerful, mighty power into my mouth and confess the truths. Our tribe are supposed to pray in 2 for a word from the lord for our youth net ( I think so). I was praying then many words like love, compassion just passed thorugh, then out of a sudden, guitar popped out! It was so random! I shall ask more from the lord about it! Hopefully He'll give me an answer! Alrights! Shall stop this long long post! (:
I've skipped like lots of lessons! Economics and Maths to be specific!
AHHH! I feel like screaming! Everything seemed to be out against me!
God taught us to be obedience, yet what if everyone turn against you?
It's like every time I try to put my best front forward to people,
yet they doesn't appreciate what you've actually done for them.
I know I'm still learning! Just like a baby taking its steps...
No matter how hard I try, I'm in my dilemma.
It seemed forever that I'm trying to become more and more like Jesus,
however at the very same time, I find myself not 'original' anymore.
I lost my old personality, old self, the old me.
I wonder if anyone ever feels so that I'm changing...
I just missed all my old friends, and how we used to be.
I missed their laughter, and all the lame jokes we crack together.
It seemed further and further away as each day passed.
It's not that our memories are fading away, but it's like every single day...
each and every one of us are constantly changing.
Memories doesn't change, but human being does.
God doesn't too. He's there always and forever.
I'm not EMOTIONAL! OH WELL, just a few days ago.
I was so naive. I tried to get myself drunk at the same place where
sad memories took place. YES! I got like kind of cranky and drunk.
At first, I thought :" SEE I'M SO STRONG! NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME! "
However, right after what I've thought, thinking I was all cool and calm.
I was overwhelmed by darkness... For a moment, my whole head spin like mad.
Then I could not stand firmly, I needed to sit down.
Next thing, I vomit. Next next thing, I was sitting in the middle of the road.
SINNER, yes I am ONE! :( underage drinking is not cool!
NO, it's not cool drinking at all! :(((
Seriously, I feel so sinned that I didn't pray to God, tell him my problems,
instead I turn to alcohol, thinking it would help. Apparently, it DON'T!
So yesterday, I went to met up with SINREN.
Then we talked DIRTY. HAHAHA. I loved it and it was so funny.
I'm like digging a lot about her and her whatever XXX.
They've did so many stuff! OPPS! HAHAHA! Oh don't expect that much! :)
I think they're one normal and cute couple.
Then we were saying like we'll start praying for me to find my RIGHT one! ASAP i HOPE! :)
Today, floorball resumed our normal trainings. Not I guess it's just another start of my nightmare! :( It's not I dislike floorball, I just find everyone being so indifferent!
In the past, nothing like this ever occured. Pure and Innocent. Yet now, so malicious.
At KFC, something happened, and next minute, half of my body was covered with rootbeer.
Maybe because I'm already pretty sticky, don't really mind over it. Maybe if I were in my CCHY uniform, I'll surely be freaking out! OHHH! I think I like the font, that's why I keep typing and typing! My first week passed passed passed! Oh my, I swear I didn't even get to enjoy anything up till now! Oh yes, I'm super crazy and worried that I can't find my true love! :(
Everywhere I go, I see couples, and it's an eye sore! :C
I'm pretty sure everyone is so damn fast and furious... oh my I'll be left on the shelves!
I don't want! :C Oh I need to stand firm with Jesus first, before he can give me my RIGHT ONE! I think I should be thinking this way. Maybe If I Wait hard enough, learn to grow in Jesus, wait patiently, then he'll give me a faithful a right one, my meant to be soulmate. Can you imagine the countless of precious memories we'll have, if we were meant to be. How much we can click well, how much we can actually spent time together doing similar stuff and feeling happy, how much we can get together and worship the lord, sing praises together, spent time together counting stars, spend time talking about how Jesus brought us together, how Jesus want our lives to be connected with him, how we are so same and alike, how much we love Jesus, tell each other about the secrets we have, tell each other how we met Jesus, get together in a cold night, spend a lazy afternoon together, tell each other the problems we faced in life, read our Bibles together, spend time together listening to God's word for us, go to a faraway place where nobody knows us, gatecrash some random weddings, laugh at each other faults, forgiving each other sins and know how much we actually love each other and cannot live without each other, ... the list goes on and on!
There are infinite things I must do with my husband/first boyfriend. I know I might sound somehow like old fashioned, outdated, but I believe the Lord for the right one and only one so I won't get hurt and it's a LOVE STORY! I'll be the ONE to witness that true love does exist, and it won't be like other teenagers when their love are just mere infatuation or for the sake of having someone to love or to be loved. Although I know it's difficult and hard during this century but FAITH keeps me going on. Yes, it's true and I believe it. I'm living for it! I wonder if God will ever read my blog! I just stumbled upon angel's blog, and she say God doesn't reply smses, but I believe God will know my problems. That sermon was just so spot on! Thank Lord about what Pastor Eugene has preached about during the last sermon. It was like my daily bread! Two word from the bible and from that verse striked me alot! TAKE HEART! So I wrote it in my palms before going to floorball. I know I needed it to help me tide through! Oh tomorrow is going to be tied up! I don't mind spending my time talking with the Lord, it's so precious to me! I feel guilty that I have not been spending enough time with him. Fret not, this friday is my TEEN IDOL CAMP! I'm so looking forward to it! It's like I can finally get some time off the busy schedule to do something meaningful and fruitful! Oh yes, last week pastor Lily was telling us to pray in tongues! But I just couldn't cause I have not received it! I'm not sure when I will receive it but I know I'm not ready for it. I want to fully receive it when I have the real heart and the heart God desires then to put his powerful, mighty power into my mouth and confess the truths. Our tribe are supposed to pray in 2 for a word from the lord for our youth net ( I think so). I was praying then many words like love, compassion just passed thorugh, then out of a sudden, guitar popped out! It was so random! I shall ask more from the lord about it! Hopefully He'll give me an answer! Alrights! Shall stop this long long post! (:
GOODNIGHT! (:
Credits
You have my thanks