SHUTING.190392
i wonder how, i wondered why...
Posted on: 2009-07-09
Posted at: 23:00
I had an urge to blog, but I don't know what to blog about.Posted at: 23:00
Results will never ever make an impact in me. Every time I fail, I stumble, I fall to the ground, I do it all over again, and it came right back on my face. I didn't really put in much effort for midyear. For some moments, I was lost in my thoughts. I was trapped in the past, the period when I was choosing my courses and route between Poly or Junior College. Regret, is the word. Sometime, I would turn back and picture myself teaching young children, achieving the aspiration I've built inside my heart. A dream i wished I lived ( which I still can ). Even picturing myself receiving the scholarship to some University, living in Boston for 5 weeks. Living in NY was never something I would imagine doing. Every single day, I wake up and find myself walking to school, asking myself, 'Why?'. Why should I be here, somewhere I don't belong. I'm barely hanging on, right on the edge, falling apart. Everything being ripped off. The strength I built upon God has faded away. Weariness has set upon in my heart. Can God answers me whether am I on the right path? The future looks uncertain and bleak. Midst just covered the purpose where I am suppose to be. If I worked hard enough, and earned myself a place in ECH. Well, no more IF... I've thought through it. I will never let myself suffer, because it is terrible living a life like that. I will do what I like, loved, enjoyed.
Project Work was awful. I felt being largely ignored, and the group don't seemed to work as a team. Somehow, we're all living in a world just trying to get together. Because it's the way life works.
Credits
You have my thanks