SHUTING.190392
2011.
Posted on: 2011-10-09
Posted at: 21:39
Posted at: 21:39
Oh yes, typing this in 2011! It has indeed been a roller coaster ride for me. Looking back at all these ehem childish posts since 2006, there have been good and bad memories. But, they are so precious that if I could live my life over again, I wouldn't change a single thing. Well, maybe some but majority I would still keep it! Anyway, I've turned boring. Maybe I should go out and make some ah-lian friends. JUST/JK.
Nothing seemed to be the same anymore. Well, changes are inevitable and growing up is part of accepting the fact that people moves on. You can change nobody, neither nor anyone can change you. It's like a blink of an eye. Everyone is in a different place right now.
There are so many changes, that I don't even know if I am part of it.
There's this song that goes, 'Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same...'.
Nothing seemed to be the same anymore. Well, changes are inevitable and growing up is part of accepting the fact that people moves on. You can change nobody, neither nor anyone can change you. It's like a blink of an eye. Everyone is in a different place right now.
There are so many changes, that I don't even know if I am part of it.
There's this song that goes, 'Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same...'.
Throughout the years, I find myself becoming more and more indigenous. I don't belong anywhere. I've moved out of somewhere, yet I can't find an identity about who I am, and how people perceive me as who I am. I'm so afraid to speak my mind. I'm so inferior about myself. It seemed that in university, everybody strives to be the most excellent. I'd never thought myself to be where I am today. And now that I am somewhere, I don't feel happy. I am suppose to be happy, because I am at the top of hierarchy of this education system. But I don't even know what I want in life. I'm just aimlessly striving, trying at something I'm not good at. Now that I'm here, I'm again at a loss at what to do. I'm really frustrated with myself, what I'm doing. Every single day, I pray I could be doing something different, but I'm not. Because of all these surrounding problem, it gets really lonely, and I'm not even eager to meet new people, make new friends. I find myself with no hobby and everything. No cca, no friends, lousy cap... Everybody's hanging out with their new friends, but I have none. All my old friends have gotten on and proceed with their own life. And there's me hanging down there, doing the same old things, alone. I eat alone, read books alone, etc... Feeling really lonely. My phone doesn't even vibrates anymore. If necessary, it would be for a purpose. Nobody really cares that much. Maybe, we only need a few to make us whole. Appreciate those that comes along, and be thankful towards those that left. Maybe, I've been trying so hard to prove myself, to try to be different. In the end, it all blows out.
Labels: changes, friends, life, myself, people
Credits
You have my thanks